SpringCreek Fertility Blog

10 Appropriate Answers to “When are you going to Have Kids”

By SpringCreek Fertility • Posted on December 11th, 2017

With the holidays right around the corner, we thought we could provide you with some nice come-backs for that insensitive family member. It helps to have some answers ready ahead of time to help you cope. The family get togethers may remind us that our own family building has not gone the way we imagined. Seeing your siblings and cousins with their children can remind you of what you are hoping for. Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, but if you choose to answer, consider a few of these responses.

1) “We would love to have kids right now, but it hasn’t been as easy as we had hoped.”
2) “No, not yet, but please keep us in your prayers.”
3) “When we decide, you’ll be one of the first to know.”
4) “That’s a more personal question than I feel comfortable answering. Can you believe the weather we are having?”
5) “Ask God (or the power that be) because I sure have no idea?”
6) “That’s such a personal question, why do you want to know?”
7) (Say nothing, and give a little smile or shrug.) “Would you like some more of that cheese dip?”
8) “Thanks for your concern. How about some more chips?”
9) “We have actually been trying and are now seeing a specialist to help.” At this point, you have two choices:
a. You can say nothing more. At which point, you will likely be on the receiving end of advice, success stories, and over-sharing of way too personal information about sexual positions and frequency. If this is not what you want, quickly change the subject.
b. You can quickly follow with “This is a really tender subject for me, so I’d rather not go into details right now. Thanks for caring and respecting our privacy”.
10) You ask me this question every year. Can we make an agreement that when we decide, I’ll let you know? That way you don’t need to keep asking.

For the most part, your family and friends do not mean any harm. They simply don't know what to say. They may want to support you but not know how. If you need to skip the holidays with family this year, skip it. If you need to leave early, or come late, do that as well. Take care of yourself first and foremost.

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